Sample Descriptive Paragraph #1

You are hereby prevented from using this topic sentence or overall description of the fountain. Do not use any phrases or ideas that I have used in this paragraph.

This paragraph is 204 words of content, excluding the words in the parentheses. It will be a difficult paragraph to write, so remember to describe things in detail. Talk about the appearance/smell/sound, describe them, and then explain your descriptions.

Topic sentence
The fountain in front of Alexandria Hall is a place of despair.

Major points
1. the way it looks
2. the way it sounds
3. the way it feels (temperature, chairs)
4. the atmosphere

Concluding sentence
Because the fountain is overwhelmingly oppressive in appearance and atmosphere, it is an unpleasant place to visit.

(topic sentence) The fountain in front of Alexandria Hall is a place of despair. (point 1) The appearance of the fountain suggests decay and rot; the fountain has spots of mold and mildew that seem to be eating away its surface and the concrete surrounding it. The chipped paint inside the fountain speaks of neglect and shabbiness, which lends a depressed element to the fountain. The fountain looks like a monument to all that was once beautiful but is now fading and failing. (point 2) Although the fountain has an inscription that speaks of water as life, the water instead raises thought of drowning; the splashing sounds, when combined with the shouts of passersby, reminds one of death. The sounds are uneven, which creates a feeling of tension in the visitor to the fountain. The sound is also quite loud, and the sound can drown out one’s thoughts. (point 3) The seating around the fountain is uncomfortable, and it exposes people to the chilly temperatures of the wind, especially when the wind blows the chilly fountain spray on them. The hardness of the seats prevents people from relaxing and reminds them that life is temporary and painful. (concluding sentence) Because the fountain is overwhelmingly oppressive in appearance and atmosphere, it is an unpleasant place to visit.

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