Topic sentence – should identify WHAT was important and WHY
When I woke up late on the first day of classes, it set a negative tone for my entire first week.
1. when I woke up
2. what I did
3. what happened in my first class
4. how it set a negative tone
Waking up late on the first day of class is not the best way to get ready for the semester.
(topic sentence) When I woke up late on the first day of classes, it set a negative tone for my entire first week. (point 1) My alarm was supposed to go off at 6:30, but I slept through the alarm and woke up at 7:45, which was fifteen minutes before my first class. (point 2) I quickly got dressed and hurriedly brushed my teeth, but I was not looking or feeling my best when I left my dorm. I was late to Introduction to Psychology, which was held on the second floor of Alexandria Hall. Because I had to run from Tudor Hall, I was overheated and out of breath when I arrived at 8:10. (point 3) My professor had already taken roll and marked me absent. She was in the process of going over the syllabus, so there was information that I had missed already. I was very embarrassed to be interrupting class, and I was afraid that my professor already had a negative impression of me. (point 4) Although my professor seemed to understand about lateness on the first day, I stopped to talk to her after class to explain myself. She told me not to worry, but I am usually very conscientious, so this mistake really affected my mood for the rest of the week. (concluding sentence) Waking up late on the first day of class is not the best way to get ready for the semester.
This paragraph is 227 words long, and it gives a clear narrative about the important facts about the event and the details that explain how I was feeling and why.
Note that I took the bare-bones facts about what happened and used detail and description to make the event clearer and more understandable.